People always say “blood is thicker than water.” But is that line still applicable if you see signs your family doesn’t care about you?
Do you believe you have toxic family members that don’t care about you or your needs? Here are several indicators that your family does not care about you. It will help you determine If you are living in a poisonous environment.
Growing up in a healthy household has a good impact on our mental health and self-esteem. It helps us become better individuals and set reasonable objectives for the future.
Others are growing up in dysfunctional homes. They are having unhealthy relationships with family members. They will have a detrimental impact on your mental and emotional well-being. Having these in mind, here are signs for you to know if your family does not care about you.
Signs your family doesn’t care about you
They show you open and hidden cruelty and neglect
People call out their family members when they’ve made obvious red flags. But sometimes these flags aren’t as obvious. There are reasons such as physical and sexual assault. But most of the time, it is maltreatment.
But also in a family dynamic, red flags are hard to recognize since they are subtle. Your relatives invalidate your sentiments because they have things to do.
They don’t respect your limits
Limits are boundaries that are part of a healthy connection between you and other people. Signals, boundaries, and stop signs show others what is acceptable and not to you. Families that are not concerned about each other remove the limits. This is to make you feel protected.
An example might be a parent that stops unannounced often. Regardless of how many times you requested them to. Whether you ask them to call in advance, observe if you begin to feel guilty for specifying your demands. Members of the family who listen to you and want to alter care.
They invalidate your sentiments
An example is a family that phones you several times a day while you’re in need to calm them down. But they stop calling without asking what you about you. You may share with them that you see signs your coworker has feelings for you. But if they cut you off and won’t care, it is a sign that they don’t care about you.
Yes, your family is essential. But if every time you share with them feels regrettable, it might be a sign that your family isn’t healthy. It is crucial that you feel comfortable sharing your sentiments with them. They are your family. Having this type of issue with them is a red flag.
You’re being left out
There is a boundary between an ordinary family and the family that does not care about you. But it is hard to understand. Another sign is when they leave you out or don’t notify you about important achievements.
Things like the failure to celebrate your birthday or visit you show how your family doesn’t care for you. See these warning signals to discover where you are in your family. When you observe it, explore methods to solve the problem. You may also separate yourself from your family to protect yourself.
They don’t give you time
I know what some of you may be thinking, people are busy and we all have battles we face daily. Yes, we get that. But there are limitations to this matter. Time spent together is still important in a family. When they’re making many excuses to not show up at important occasions in your life, that can be a sign.
For example, they see signs your friend doesn’t respect you but does nothing about it. Or it could be that they see signs coworkers are intimidated by you, but also does nothing about it. In these situations, they must give time to comfort you or give advice. But if they won’t, that is one sign your family doesn’t care about you.
You feel guilty for specifying your needs
Your family wants you to always keep up with yourself. They show that they don’t follow your demands. One of the biggest signs that your family doesn’t care is that they say they don’t care at all. For instance, you need help from your father for a project that involves another person with you in it.
You may have no other person to go ask for help and now you are getting stress. An unhealthy response would be him getting mad or annoyed at you. If he wants you to keep quiet and says you annoy him, that could mean a bad thing. As a member of a family, you have the responsibility to cater to the needs of other family members.
You always give priority and don’t appear to care what happens in your life.
Are you aware that every talk you seem to be talking about is always about them? They may speak about their issues when you meet for many hours. But they will exhibit little interest in what you are experiencing. Egotistic members have the tendency of doing everything about themselves. Self-absorbed or needy individuals leave a very unilateral connection.
They never recognize what you achieve
Does someone in your family get “excellent work,” “great work” or “feedback,” a little like blood from a stone? Some people are not pleasant and regardless of what you do, you will not notice your hard work. Yes, they don’t have to congratulate you for you to feel good about yourself. But we all want to feel like our family is happy with us, particularly during times when we’ve done well.
They always criticize you
No praise is one thing, but it is another chastised. Constructive comments in life might be valuable. But critique and nitpicking are never helpful. You may receive open or subtler criticism. For example, you might compare yourself to other individuals and ask, “Why can you not be more like them?”
You don’t feel loved
We don’t always get along all the time, we have ups and downs for many families. But when your family is otherwise going on, you should always sense that they adore you underlying it all. Each of us has many love languages. Some express words of affection. Some choose to display their feelings by providing time, attention, or even donations.
Some are comfortable. While some choose to express their support by modest devotional deeds. Any love language they may use is an important sign of a broken relationship. Especially if your family is unable to show you or tell you that they love you.
How to deal with difficult family members
Refuse to be a victim
More than one person is usually needed in power conflicts. We often feel at others’ mercy. Your feelings are an inevitable result of what somebody else is saying or doing. But we grant this authority to them, in truth. The misery you experience is always created by your thoughts.
There is an Austrian neurologist named Viktor Frankl. He discussed his experiences as a Nazi concentration camp prisoner. This is during WW II in his book Search for Meaning. Frankl discovered that he can still pick the meaning that he gave to events with little control of his life. He did this even in the most appalling conditions.
You may believe you did not pick the position of the victim in your family dynamics. You may think that it developed as a result of the scenario. But, this does not mean you have to play it. You may regain control of your emotions as soon as you stop viewing yourself as a victim.
To break patterns, let go of the past.
Many of the toxic patterns that continue to play out in families have been there for years, if not decades. Your current interactions with family members may have an effect. There may be an outmode in behaviors learned as a youngster.
Toxic family interactions goes from generation to generation, trapping us in cycles. When we become aware of unhealthy habits, we may make a conscious decision to break them. It might imply letting go of what has transpired in the past. You may have to forgive and forget.
They may call your attention to let go of whatever anger or hurt you’ve been harboring. But it’s critical that we accept responsibility for ourselves in the here and now. Depending on your circumstances, this might imply a clean slate to go on to a brighter future.
Set limits and communicate
When confronted with charged situations, it may be quite tough to speak up about how you feel. It is a vulnerable position to be in. But honest communication is at the foundation of all healthy partnerships.
You need to have an open dialogue with your family about how you are feeling. No matter how uncomfortable it may seem. Rather than assigning blame, try to keep things as neutral as possible. We all tend to get defensive when attacked.
You might question why your family behaves in this manner if you know many of the signs above. First, it is vital to recognize that you aren’t alone if you believe that your family can’t meet your needs. The moment you notice these signs in your home, try to assess the situation first to fix it.
When they show signs of not caring, it does not mean that’s the case or it ends there. These are not like the signs you should stay away from someone. You should not stay away from your family. Ask for guidance about this matter especially if it bothers you. Accept the situation and try to think about it well to fix it, communicate well with your family.