Home » 115 Best How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Live, Love, Laugh)

115 Best How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Live, Love, Laugh)

by Bob
Marshall, Lily, Robin,Ted, and Barney in a straight line in formal clothing

HIMYM: a 20 to 30-year-old’s bible to life, friendships, and love. Here are 115 of the best How I Met Your Mother quotes to guide you to life.

How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) is one of the most legen… wait for it… dary shows to date! We know, that is pretty overused by now, but we just can’t help ourselves. We loved watching the lives of everyone in the series. The twists and turns, the challenges, the will they won’t they action. And of course- the recurring mystery of how Ted Mosby met “The Mother”.


And it’s not just about romance either. HIMYM also dives deep into the family, and work lives of everyone. And each season of the series taught us a thing or two about life, and love and kept us laughing and crying along the way.


It’s been a few years since the end of the series, but the quotes are still memorable to this day (lest we say legendary). And a sign of a good show is that you can pick up good quotes from every episode. Here we’ve compiled the best quotes from How I Met Your Mother, and of course, the How I Met Your Mother Best Lines to get your HIMYM fix. Can you guess which episodes these are from? 


22 How I Met Your Mother One Liners


#1   “That’s life, you know. We never end up where you thought you wanted to be.” — Marshall Eriksen


#2  “We struggle so hard to hold on to these things that we know are gonna disappear eventually. And that’s really noble.” – Lily


#3  “It’s not about proof; it’s about faith. Faith is what gives life shape and meaning.” — Marshall


#4  “You can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be.” — Lily


#5  “Tonight, we’ll make a memory that will never be tarnished. Then, when we’re old and gray, we’ll look back on this moment, and it’ll be perfect.” — Victoria


#6  “Because sometimes even if you know how something’s gonna end that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride.” — Ted



#7  “Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost, to all the times it was a No instead of a Yes, to all the scrapes and bruises, to all the heartache.” — Lily


#8  “Destined? Aren’t you tired of waiting for destiny, Ted? Isn’t it time to make your own destiny?” — Robin


#9  “Here’s the thing about mistakes, sometimes even when you know something is a mistake, you gotta make it anyway.” — Ted


#10  “Revenge fantasies never work out the way you want.” — Marshall


#11  “The best I can give you is a fake smile and dead eyes.” — Robin


#12   “Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.” — Ted


#13  “Definitions are important.” — Lily


#14  “Sometimes we search for one thing but discover another.” — Ted


#15  “Look, you can’t design your life like a building. It doesn’t work that way. You just have to live it, and it’ll design itself.” — Lily


#16   “In marriage, being right is less important than being supportive. Remember: Happy wife equals happy life.” — Lily


#17  “One good deed leads to another and another.” — Marshall


#18  “People don’t get the chance to discover each other anymore.” — Chuck


#19  “Why say goodbye to the good things?” — Lily


#20  “Why am I constantly looking for reasons not to be happy?” — Robin


#21  “The biggest case of my life and I’d already lost the jury. I mean, I’ve heard of Twelve Angry Men, but this was more like ‘Twelve Horny Women.’” — Marshall


#22  “I got a two-syllable ‘damn’ in this dress.” — Lily

2 Best “How I Met Your Mother” Birthday Quotes




#1  “The theme for today’s birthday breakfast in bed is… Spanish interlude.” — Marshall


#2   “Actually, my 30th birthday wasn’t so bad. Well, except for the goat in my bathroom. Which is a great story. But I’ll get to that later.” — Ted

23 How I Met Your Mother Romantic Quotes

Romance is at the very core of HIMYM, and thus the show gives us a few of the most romantic quotes in tv history. Here are XX How I Met Your Mother love quotes that will surely make butterflies fly in your stomach.




#1  “I Love You. I’m Always Going To Love You. Till The End Of My Days…And Beyond.” — Ted


#2  “If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love.” — Ted


#3  “When I let a day go by without talking to you….. That day is just no good.” — Barney


#4  “You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone’s face, but there’s a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward.” — Ted


#5  “Some couples always support each other, and some couples always challenge each other. But is one really better than the other? Yes. Support is better. Way better.”— Ted


#6  “Everyone Comes With Baggage. Find Someone Who Loves You Enough To Help You Unpack.” — Ted



Robin: “I’m such a mess. Why do you even like me?”

Barney: “I guess, because you’re almost as messed up as I am.”



#8  “I love everything about her, and I’m not a guy who says that lightly, I’m a guy who has faked love his entire life, I’m a guy who thought love was just something idiots felt, but this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to. And there have been times when I wanted to. It has been overwhelming and humbling, and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing. I’m hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. More than she knows.” — Barney


#9  “Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that’s the fact that I love you.” — Barney


#10  “You know how sometimes you’ll meet a girl and there’ll be that one bewitching little detail that’ll make you fall in love with her instantly? You know, a little freckle on the nose, the lilt of her laugh, the way she pronounces a certain word or phrase.” — Ted


#11  “When you meet the right person, you know it. You can’t stop thinking about them. They are your best friend and your soulmate. You can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them. No one and nothing else can compare.” — Klaus


#12  “There are two big days in any love story: the day you meet the girl of your dreams and the day you marry her.” — Ted


#13  “Shouldn’t we hold out for the person who doesn’t just tolerate our little quirks but actually kinda likes them?” — Ted

Ted and Tracy under a yellow umbrella in a rainy scene

Source: pyxis.nymag.com


Barney: “Our wedding is gonna be legendary.”

Robin: “No wait for it?”

Barney: “I’ve got you, I don’t have to wait for it anymore.”


#15  “I know we didn’t work out the first time, and I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I can’t shake this feeling that we belong together. Is there any part of you that wants to try again?” — Robin


#16  “Love doesn’t make sense. I mean, you can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical, but we have to keep doing it or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.” — Ted


#17  “She walks down the aisle. You say your vows, you go to the reception, you have your first dance. Before you know it, just like magic, you realize, it’s a perfect fit.” — Ted


#18  “I don’t want to be choosing between two girls. I want to be a complete head over heels idiot for one!” — Ted


#19  “If you’re looking for a word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it’s ‘love.’” — Ted


#20  “None of us can vow to be perfect. In the end, all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we’ve got. Because love’s the best thing we do.” — Ted




#21  “That’s love, bitch.” — Lily


#22  “Lily, there are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh, you take care of me when I’m sick, you’re sweet, caring and you even created an egg dish and named it after me. She puts a little Italian dressing on the eggs before she cooks them, it’s called Eggs Marshall and it’s awesome. But the main reason is you’re my best friend, Lily. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” — Marshall


#23   “Being in a couple is hard. And committing, making sacrifices it’s hard. But if it’s the right person, it’s easy. Looking at that girl, and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. And if it’s not like that, then she’s not the one.” — Marshall

21 How I Met Your Mother Funny Quotes


#1  “The cougar displays maximum cleavage possible to captivate her prey. You’re watching them bounce, she’s about to pounce.” — Barney


#2  “Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs…it’s like we’re the president.” — Marshall 


#3  “Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro – I’m Broda!” — Barney


#4   “I finally found the one, Marshall. Her name is Bacon.” — Ted



#5  “Spiders Gotta Die…So Trees Can Grow.” — Ted


#6  “Guys are like the subway. You miss one, another comes along in five minutes.” “Unless it’s the end of the night, and then you get on anything.” — Robin


#7  “Just Like Ryan Gosling In ‘The Notebook’. It Was Pretty Manly ‘Til I Mentioned Ryan Gosling In ‘The Notebook’, Huh?” — Ted


#8  “Why is Ellen DeGeneres in our bedroom?” — Marshall


#9  “I can’t wait to tell the gang. This is one of those moments you dream about! Guys… Lily and I… are having unprotected sex. I just got the chills.” — Marshall


the HIMYM gang doing wacky faces

Source: tumblr



Robin: How do you know the Canadian citizenship test is easy?

Barney: It’s Canada. Question one, do you want to be Canadian? Question two, really?


#11  “Canada also helped in two world wars and gave the world Neil Young, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, Pamela Anderson, one-quarter of Barney Stinson, instant mashed potatoes and best of all — you.” — Barney


#12  “Kids!? No! Don’t have kids! The rule is no kids until you’re at least 45. Don’t you EVER read my blog? It’s gotten a lot better.” — Barney


#13   “That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like, ‘Hey bro, I don’t know what you’re eating cause I don’t have any eyes but it’s basically awesome, so keep sending it down Gullet Alley.’” — Marshall


#14  “Eight years ago, I made an ass of myself chasing after you, and I made an ass of myself chasing after you a bunch of times since then. I have no regrets because it led me to something I wouldn’t trade for the world; it led to you being my friend. So, as your friend and a leading expert in the field of making an ass of yourself, I say to you, from the heart, get the hell out of this car.” — Ted




#15  “Shut up! Now listen to me. The clock is ticking. Okay, first thing, we scoop up all these little pieces of tofu and cabbage.” — Robin


#16  “Ted! You’re forcing me to be the voice of reason, and it’s not a good look for me!” — Barney


#17  “I get recognized one time, and I start thinking I’m Julia Roberts. I’m no VIP; I’m not even an IP; I’m just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter.” — Robin


#18  “Don’t say you’re gonna kill someone in front of airport security. Not cool.” — Barney


#19  “I’ll be right back. And if I don’t come back, well, then these are my last words to you all. I really, really, really love you guys. Now I’m going to go drop a deuce.” — Marshall


#20  “This just in, look at my hand, how weird is my hand, is not an appropriate thing to say on the air.” — Robin



Lily: You’re too much like my dad.

Marshall: You’re too much like my dad.

Lily: Your dad?!


7 How I Met Your Mother Friendship Quotes


#1   “Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.” — Barney


#2  “We Said We’d Always Be There For The Big Moments.” — Robin


#3  “That’s how it goes kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies, and partners in crime you love so much when you’re young, as the years go by, you just lose touch. You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.” — Ted


#4  “If you keep giving up on people so quickly, you’re gonna miss out on something great.” — Robin

funny 4 panel HIMYM strip about friendship

Source: reddit.com


#5  “We spend so much effort trying to keep parts of our lives hidden, even from our closest friends, that in those rare times when we do open up, it’s amazing how minor those secrets all end up being.” — Ted


#6  “I love being the person you bitch to.” — Robin


#7  “You’re my best friend, alright? You don’t have to tell me I’m yours. But the way I see it, we’re a team. Without you, I’m just the dynamic uno.” — Barney

20 How I Met Your Mother Barney Quotes

Barney Stinson, the ever so cunning and charming ladies’ man who is a surprisingly loyal and caring friend. He also said two of the most memorable lines “legen-… wait for it… -dary” and “challenge accepted”, that are still being used up to today. Here are 20 How I Met Your Mother Barney Quotes that are… wait for it… amazing. 


To start off, here are some of his Bro Code rules



#1  “A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.”


#2  “When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.”


#3  “A Bro never cries.   EXCEPTIONS: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.*”


#4  “When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection.”


#5   “If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.”



#6  “A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.”


#7  “Discouraging pre-marital sex is against my religion.”


#8 “It’s going to be legen…wait for it…and I hope you’re not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is…DARY!”


#9  “Suit up!”


#10  “It’s time to let go of the fantasies. It’s time to grow up.”


#11  “I realized that I’m searching. Searching for what I really want in life, and you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is.”


#12  “There are three rules of cheating: One — it’s not cheating if you’re not the one who’s married. Two — it’s not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels. Three — and it’s not cheating if she’s from a different area code.”

Barney Stinson in a suit with a slight smirk

Source: pop-culturalist.com


#13  “Your story is so sweet. You didn’t even kiss ’til the third date. By our third date, I hit more bases than Bob Hope on a USO tour.”


#14   “You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.”


#15  “Whenever I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”


#16  “We should totally buy a bar. Our bar would be awesome. And dude, dude, dude, dude… the name of our bar… Puzzles. (Ted is astonished by the proposition) People will be, like, “Why is it called Puzzles?”. That’s the puzzle!”


#17  “Maybe this isn’t a breakup. Maybe this is just two friends getting back together.


#18  “Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume, in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way, I have a second chance to make a first impression.”


#19  “The Bro Code has been around for centuries. Nay… whatever’s more than centuries.”


#20  “Every hookup at a weekend wedding is decided at Friday night drinks. Get stuck with the wrong girl tonight, the only action you’ll be getting all weekend is a self five, and I don’t mean the cool kind. Self-five! That’s the cool kind.”

20 How I Met Your Mother Ted Quotes

Ted Mosby, our passionate, romantic, and hopeful dork who is constantly looking for “the one” has some of the best lines in the show. Whether it be about love, or life, or even plain making fun of himself, our ‘lil Ted has them covered. Here is our list of 20 of the best How I Met Your Mother Ted Quotes



#1  “If you are not scared then you are not taking chance and if you are not taking a chance what the hell are you doing anyway?”


#2  “Sometimes things need to fall apart to make way for better things.”


#3  “When you believe in people, people come through.”


#4  “My parents live in Ohio. I live in the moment.”


#5  “I think for the most part if you are really honest with yourself about what you want out of life. Life gives it to you.”


#6   “You can’t cling to the past. Because no matter how tightly you hold on, it’s already gone.”


#7  “I’ve Waited And Waited For It To Happen…I guess I’m tired of waiting.”


#8  “Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.”


#9  “We’re going to get older, whether we like it or not, so the only question is whether we get on with our lives or desperately cling to the past.”


#10  “Never underestimate the power of destiny. Because when you least expect it, the littlest thing can cause a ripple effect that changes your life.”

Ted Mosby smiling with yellow background

Source: fandom.com

#11  “When you’re in a new relationship and you’re competing with your ex for who’s happier, it can get ugly.”


#12  “The more you fight it, the worse it’s gonna get. It’s like when your car slides on ice, you stir into the skid.”


#13  “In order to determine whether we can know anything with certainty, we first have to doubt everything we know.”


#14  “It’s only once you’ve stopped that you realize how hard it is to start again.”


#15  “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m. When 2 a.m. rolls around, just go home and go to sleep.”


#16  “Whether a gesture’s charming or alarming depends on how it’s received.”


#17  “I used to be in such a hurry all the time. Everything was so urgent. Now I figure, if it’s going to happen, it’ll happen when it happens. I’m not going anywhere; she’s not going anywhere. What’s the rush, right?”



#18  “Do you know how many signs I’ve gotten that I should or shouldn’t be with someone..and where has it gotten me? Maybe there aren’t any signs. Maybe a locket’s just a locket..a chair is just a chair. Maybe we don’t have to give meaning to every little thing. Maybe we don’t need the universe to tell us what we really want. Maybe we already know that..deep down.”


#19  “I’m sorry, when I’m excited I abbreviate words I shouldn’t.” 


#20  “Sorry, Peter. We’re grown-ups now, we can’t fly to Neverland with you anymore.” 

Wrapping Up

What we loved most about How I Met Your Mother is that the show focused on imperfect 20 to 30 somethings navigating through life. 


Sure not everything about the show is relatable (spending a lot of time at the bar, with all that work? Come on), but it still gave us a sense of completion. Of becoming a part of the gang, and navigating with them through the intricacies of life. And in every episode of the show, we’ve picked up a lesson or two and gave us great one-liners and memorable quotes. 


It’s definitely time for a re-watch!


If you want to fill the hole that HIMYM left in you, you can check out How I Met Your Dad


Did you miss the HIMYM series? How about reading the following quotes from series similar to the HIMYM show?

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